memorial day 2014

I don't need a holiday to remember you by as you are in my thoughts each and every day.

Love you more,
Mom

slowing down

There have been many moments in the last 8 1/2 months that I wished for so many things... one was to have just slowed those 23 1/2 years down a little.

When you and your sister were young and I didn't work we could spend a hot afternoon at Birch Bay or a rainy day inside at home doing nothing in particular.  Then school days came and work for me... life became one long roller coaster with little stopping to just enjoy a day or watch the clouds roll by.

If I'd have known our time was to be cut so short I'd have done things differently.

I was never the kind of person that could just relax and enjoy the ride but I'm trying now.  We get one shot and I don't want to regret the way I spend the time when I look back on my life.

Missing you.

Love you more,
Mom

mother's day

sweet memories are woven from the good times

It's still so hard to believe.

Just one year ago you came over on a rainy Mother's Day at 6:30 am!  When you came in the house you said you had already driven around "the block" once when you realized how early it was.  You came by to make me something for Mother's Day.

I am so thankful I have this picture and not just the memory.

Motherhood is a sacred place in your heart that no one and nothing, not even death, can take from you.

Missing you, remembering you.

Love you more,
Mom

lilacs

Some things instantly make me think of you... some are obviously, like raspberries and tractors, but it's funny how it can be lilacs, hydrangeas, even tulips too since you mentioned that you had some growing in your flower beds that first spring in your house.

It's lilac time and when I see the blooms on my lilac I'm thinking of you.

When you bought your little house the backyard had a row of lilacs, a hedge really of lilacs.  That first year you were there I was pretty excited to see what colors they would be and stop by to "steal" a few when they were in bloom.  Last year you brought me a big jug of cut lilacs... they were getting to the end of their blooming but still smelled so wonderful and of course, the thinking of your mama part was nice.

Then just a couple of weeks before you died you brought me two bunches of hydrangeas... The big purple ones and some smaller blue ones... They lasted well into September and October.  At one point I had them on my dresser so I could look at them every night before I went to bed.  I had hoped that they would dry nicely and I could keep them but they didn't, although I still have them.... and I had taken pictures of them that day you brought them to me, so I can always remember them and you.

Flowers for your mom, what a thoughtful young you had become.  Missing you each and every day.

Love you more,
Mom