memorial arena

I remember many cold hockey games in arenas in BC, ones that were named Memorial Arena.  If I remember correctly the one in Penticton was built as a true memorial after World War II.  So many happy memories of those days.

So I finally got the Japanese Maple planted... one that was given to us after you died.  This garden is a good spot, what I've called the bird garden but I think now it will be my memory or memorial garden.

You and your sister helped me line it with bricks... it still houses your little squirrel feeder you built.  And I've added your tractor planter.  One of your neighbors gave Dad a milk can so the garden now has two...

The hanging basket you gave me a few mother's days ago still hangs on the tree and my glider bench will be a place to sway and remember.

I found a heart shaped rock to remind me of how much I love you still.

Love you more,
Mom

one year

It's been one whole year now... I think of you every day and still cannot believe you're gone.

I came across this written by Elizabeth Edwards that lost a son and although no one has been so unkind or "un"thoughtful as to ask if I or we are "over it" it still fits...

My life will never be the same life it once was...

It's been a long ride with out you...

Love you more,
Mom

blue eyes

Blue eyed summer time smile

Looks so good that it hurts...

There are still so many days that I just can't find the words to say how much it still hurts...

Even after almost an entire year...

Forever and always, love you more,

Mom

seeing you

It's been one year, 52 weeks, since I saw you last.  All day an old song has been playing through my mind... the first time ever i saw your face... a real old song from the 70's, long before you were born... but in my mind i keep thinking the last time ever i saw your face.

I'm sure that over the following 9 days we texted a few times but I didn't see you or talk to you.  I wish now that instead of texting you about dinner on that Friday or Saturday I would have just called instead.

Never did I think when you left that evening after dinner that it would be the last "see ya"...

Miss you every day...

Love you more,
Mom

august

I can't believe this was one year ago today... well tomorrow by the date, today by 52 weeks.  The first Sunday after harvest was slowing and you came over for dinner.  You cut these from your garden and brought them to me in a milk jug.

Miss you each and every day...

Love you more,
Mom

tractors

The tractor show was this weekend up the road.  I still remember that day seven years ago when you came driving up the driveway on this one.  So proud of it and ready to dig into your senior project of restoring it.  Along the way you learned a lot and became a bit of a Farmall expert.  Collecting more tractors, some on your own and some with dad.

Never thought that someday we'd have all these tractors and just memories.

Missing you.
Love you more,
Mom

**not sure why but once again, my post didn't post from last week...

dirt

There's new song out that makes me think of you every time I hear it... fittingly it's called "dirt".  It seems that since we moved here, since you worked on your first tractor, since you worked at "the farm" well you were always covered with some sort of dirt, grime or raspberries.  Shoes tracking in dirt and mud... even the pink tinge to everything that year you worked on your tractor.

You get your hands in it

Plant your roots in it

Dusty head lights dance with your boots in it (dirt)

You write her name on it

Spin your tires on it

Build your corn field, whiskey

Bonfires on it (dirt)

You bet your life on it 

You've mixed some sweat with it

Taken a shovel to it

You've stuck some crosses and some painted

Goal posts through it (dirt)

You know you came from it (dirt)

And some day you'll return to it

Love you more,Mom
edit - not sure why this didn't post last week... I guess you get a "twofer" this sunday.