sweet

Halloween is coming up on us... this Friday in fact.  Can't help but think of the one who had the biggest sweet tooth of them all...

 I suppose you came by it naturally but you definitely preferred candy or cake to anything else.  Once when you were about 4 or 5 and I was not feeling well you kept me company in bed watching tv and napping, little did I know that while I slept you had helped yourself to brown sugar and white sugar straight out of the package!

I used to make peanut butter and honey for sandwiches and sometimes would use it with jam for you... you convinced your grandma this was ok to have together and when she was making it for you well you of course said actually my mom makes me honey and jam sandwiches... she didn't buy that one!

 I need to take candy in for work on Friday and looked for your favorite Fastbreak candy bars but I guess my grocery store didn't stock those in mini size this year.

Missing that sweet little boy and big boy every day.

Love you more,
Mom

cherish

A week or two ago I read a story about a family that was about to have their first baby... it was not expected to live more than a few hours after birth due to being born without all parts of his brain... i think it is Anencephaly.

His parents found this out last April, 5 months or so before his October due date.  I'm sure they grieved and went through all kinds of thoughts and feeling but what stuck with me is that they actually spent the summer doing a "bucket list" of things they would have liked to have done with their son knowing he had little chance of surviving.

I can't imagine being those parents... even after these past months I still can not imagine how they could make it through this pregnancy knowing the likely result.

But what it makes me realize is we must cherish every single minute... from birth to death.  The small things and the big things.   The happy things and the sad things.  I also realized that I was more fortunate than others because I got to know you longer than anyone else.

Missing you every day...
Love you more,
Mom

you were missed

You would have had a great time last night... I thought of you and how you would have enjoyed talking to all about the barn and the tractor collection... you might even have kicked up your heels a bit as the evening progressed... I think you would have thought the decorating was a bit overboard and complained about another wedding...  but secretly would have enjoyed being part of this.

I know that I will ever attend a family event and not feel like something is missing.

Love you more,
Mom